You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
A+ Viking dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
