Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
