ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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