i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
