Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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