i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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