This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize