nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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