even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
