he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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