I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
