4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize