What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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