Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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