? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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