i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
