Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
