so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
