Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
