I'm drive I can fine osifer
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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