You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
