I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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