when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
