I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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