I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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