Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That accounts for only three of the penises
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
