remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize