Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
