i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
