I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
