Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
