Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
