I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Damn victory sex feels great
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
