Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize