I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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