Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
did you just send me my own nude
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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