Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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