You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
