i permit you to call me
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
