Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Randomize
