OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
