i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
3 2 1 whiskey
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize