she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
