I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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