No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
