new low.... made out with someone while peeing
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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