I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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