My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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