Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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