Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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