____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
