i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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