she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
