so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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