Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize