from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
