quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
