so explain again why im purple
no
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
