after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
