so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
