His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
