he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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