wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
