I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
