i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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