video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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