i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize