can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
