I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
