Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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