My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize