he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
