dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
