Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
