I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
